Damn that Author
by finalsacre
Summary: To the readers beyond the fourth wall who are reading this I tell you my story: I was living a peaceful life but everything ended one day when the "Author" abducted me to fictional worlds. Since months I have been fighting and surviving and I'm now stuck in R V... The good new is...I can't die.
1. Welcome to RosarioVampire

Damn that author

Summary:

To the readers beyond the fourth wall who are reading this I tell you my story: I was living a peaceful life but everything ended one day when the "Author" abducted me to fictional worlds. Since months I have been fighting and surviving and I'm now stuck in R+V... The good new is...I can't die.

**Author's notes: This is the author speaking. As the summary shows, my story is focused like many other fanfictions of Rosario+Vampire on OC. The fourth wall will be broken several times a day and there will be many times where the main character speaks to us directly. He will be also the one to answer any question or review unless you specify that you want the author (me) to answer. Humor is one of the main genre but there will be surely many dark and bloody moments. It won't follow chapter per chapter the manga (nor the anime) as my OC will likely affect the events of R+V. I'm going to let now the main character explains the rest.**

* * *

It happened again.

I was again transferred without notice to another world.

It has been five months since this omnipotent bastard assassinated my life. Five months I have been learning and adapting to survive. It wasn't always that bad. Sometimes it was even like heaven. But most of the time it was hard and even maybe literally hell.

Basically I was sent to fictional worlds, often anime worlds and had to stay there for an unknown period of time. While it may be considered as a dream, when you're struck in a world like Dragon Ball and you're a powerless human, it quickly become a nightmare. Well I have one power : I absolutely can't die. It's the only positive gift the Author gave me.

More precisely I can be hurt but I can't be critically be hurt nor die.

I can bleed but I can't be decapitated.

I can be tired but I can't be dead tired.

I can be hungry or thirsty but I can't reach a point where my thirst and my hunger make me crazy.

Whenever something is going to hurt me critically, it's nullified one way or another. For example, if I'm shoot, an indestructible wall appear at the place the bullet will hit and deflect it.

I'm also immune to critical psychological damages. I can't become mad.

And thus I'm bound to continue my journey. Until what?

That's where you play a role readers.

I know you are reading my thoughts and my actions as if I'm in a story. The Author explained me : there is actually a higher dimension where there is world very similar to mine and where an internet site, , exists. He also gave me an indestructible cellphone that allows me to explore as I want . However I can only read. It's the Author who writes and publishes what I think and do. He also said he will release me and let me return to my everyday life when "his"stories would have reached a total of a thousand reviews. Thus I'm encouraged to be as motivated and interested as possible to attract your attention...

As if. No matter what I do it will never end. Not only he only writes a very small part of what I do but his writing skill sucks! I can hardly stand reading my own stories (on ) because I always look so dumb...No wonder why nobody read this...

Anyways time to move again.

I opened my eyes : I was in a bus almost empty. There was only one person and the bus driver in the bus. I was also in a school uniform.

Good. Most of the time school-life anime aren't too dangerous.

I checked the cellphone given to me by the Author. It was in my uniform pocket as predicted. No matter what, it never leaves me. Even I'm nuked. Believe me I speak from experience...

I received a new message from the Author. He said I'm in the Rosario+Vampire world.

…

I have never heard of this name BUT I don't like the sound of it. Well even in the worst case, if there are vampires out there ready to suck me to die, it isn't a big deal. Generally the stronger the enemy is, the safer I'm.

I then checked the Rosario+Vampire fanfiction page. There are 736 stories. It's ok. I guess even that Author could get some reviews here.

I took a quick look at the summary of the most recent stories. Apparently Tsukune and Moka are the main characters and Rosario+Vampire is about monsters and romance. It's yet too soon to tell if it's a good or bad sign.

I took a new look at my surrounding. I'm in what seems like a tunnel. Besides that, there is nothing worth mentioning. Should I chat with the only student aboard? I guess no I won't bother. I'm very weak right now.

I spent the past week inside space after a pink blob named Buu destroyed the planet. Of course I wasn't hurt at all but inside space there is no water you know...And so I spent a whole week without drinking or eating (but I slept at least).

I'm now very hungry and thirsty. So much that trying a speak a single world is painful.

Plus if I speak with anyone, they're going to ask me where I'm from etc...That will be too bothersome to answer for now.

I will follow the student, speak as little as possible, enter in the school, take courses and drink as soon as possible.

Then I would read the fanfictions and plan what I will do.

I thus waited.

Till a creepy voice informed us we arrived at our destination.

"_Youkai academy is a very horrifying school,_"he told us though mostly directed to the scared studend before me.

We then left the bus.

By the way you may be wondering why the bus driver hasn't reacted to my apparition. The answer is each time I'm transported to a new world the Author makes it so the people around me think of me as a random guy. In this case the bus driver must have thought I was a student not worth paying attention.

I took a long look at my surrounding. Indeed the place was quite creepy...by a teenager standard. As for me I have seen far far worse. Until there are corpses or pieces of corpses impaled on the tree it's probably not too dangerous.

Of course the student didn't seem to think me seeing as he was sweating and looking here and there.

And then he finally noticed me.

"...Hello, are you too a student at Yokia Academy ?" he timidly said.

"...," was my only answer. I wasn't kidding when I said it was very painful to speak. Actually right now everything is painful. I still haven't drink or eat something since a week after all...

"Hey you don't look too good...do you need any help ? "

I guess my face was horrible. I decided to give a quick reply in my most stern voice.

"Don't worry about me. Yes I'm a student at Yokia Academy and I would appreciate if you leave me alone."

"Sorry...We would better go"he said scratching the back of his head.

...Maybe it would have been better if I had befriended him? Well in any case speaking is too much a bother right now.

As we walked towards the school we heard a bike coming our way. By reflex I instantly dodged while the boy took it.

And then...

Oh well I can see why Rosario+Vampire is a romance fiction.

The boy I met fell near the girl who was riding the bike and his hand somehow found her thigh.

Classic I should say. Though what following next surprised me : she didn't slap him but instead drank his blood. She was a vampire. I then noticed her cross. Was it the rosario?

They then said their name : Moka Akashiya and Tsukune Aone. The two main characters.

After some talking between themselves they turned to me.

"Do you want to our friend too?"

Considering how were the two main characters and the genre romance, it was clear I was in a peaceful world. But it's pretty sure that tagging along the main characters would bring me trouble because of the comedy. And I wanted currently nothing more than peace. Yet it could be interesting...

I made my choice.

"I..."

* * *

**Author's notes: I'm looking for a beta reader. I would appreciate any help. I also shall update "soon" ! *Laugh* **


	2. Solitude is heavy

Damn that author CH2

Summary:

To the readers beyond the fourth wall who are reading this I tell you my story: I was living a peaceful life but everything ended one day when the "Author" abducted me to fictional worlds. Since months I have been fighting and surviving and I'm now stuck in R+V... The good new is...I can't die.

* * *

Tsukune and Moka asked me if I wanted to be their friend.

"I...need to check something," I answered against all prediction.

I turned my back to them and took my cellphone. By the way I mentioned it was indestructible but it's also invisible to anyone other than me. So when I'm using it I look like I'm talking and holding air. That's why I didn't face them.

I checked . As expected the first chapter of my story was posted and had yet to get any review. It seems my story stops just after I say "I...". I had anticipated this. How you might say ? I'm used to reading the stories written by the Author and I remarked he liked to write short chapters which ends before important moments.

After I learned that the two students before me were the main characters I realized shortly after I was in such a situation.

Anyways enough with the useless explanation. You don't need to know how I think. Instead you would rather like to see how would behave the main characters of Rosario+Vampire in an alternative scenario. Indeed when someone looks for fanfiction, it's obvious they would like to read about the character they have come to fancy, not some OC.

But too bad that isn't going to happen here or at least it doesn't depend on me.

Because I'm just a helpless bystander trapped in a reality show like-game! If you want to blame someone, blame the Author! I'm serious. If you tell him to give up he might release me. Maybe. If you don't like OC centric stories or if you pity me you should just do that. Thank you.

…

"Are you okay there?" Tsukune asked me as if I was crazy.

Well from their point of view I must had seemed crazy : I was staring at my foot.

"Yeah don't worry I was just remembering something," I answered in an sick voice.

"If you need anything maybe we can help you..."said Moka with her cute puppies eyes. It was quite hard to describe her. As with any anime character actually. In the case you are wondering how would they look in reality, I can tell you it's...very weird yet natural. Basically you still see the color, the proportion of the fiction but it seems somehow natural.

Maybe did they have something to drink or eat ? I could kill for it. Probably literally.

"I'm extremely thirsty and hungry..."

Moka and Tsukune purposed me respectively tomato juice and some cookies her mom gave him. I didn't think twice about it. I gladly accepted it and drank what seemed like the most juiciest juice I have ever drunken. The same could be said for the cookies.

After having been stuck in empty space for a whole week it wasn't surprising. I even almost shed tears of relief. Almost because my body was too dry to cry...

Alright. Maybe I could let myself relax...

"About being friends... I would like it very much!" I said with weak smile.

And thus I chose to break my solitude.

After a surprise hug from Moka we went to school while discussing stuffs about vampire.

I said my honest opinion : I'm the kind of guy who doesn't hold any prejudice and generally doesn't care about most of the things.

After the boring entrance ceremony we were separated. I took the occasion to search for the cafeteria and hopefully grab something.

No such luck the cafeteria was closed until noon.

With no other choice, I decided to head for my classroom.

"Sorry I'm late...I got lost ahha" I apologized with the first excuse that I could think of.

"Ah you too? Maybe we could place more sighs..." said … the teacher cosplaying as a cat?

She said "you too"? Then … I looked at the class. Tsukune and Moka was there.

What a coincidence... Or is what I should have said but the Author for sure has something to do with that.

As soon as Moka saw me, she waved at me with enthusiasm. I waved back quickly at her. From the staring surrounding us, it wasn't wise to attract too much attention. Plus I had decided during our previous discussion that I would keep my distance with Moka so as to not bother the relationship between Moka and Tsukune. I didn't forget they were the two main characters of a romantic comedy.

And I learned during class that I was in school for monster and that we were to keep our human disguise at all time. I particularly noticed at the fact that any human caught would be killed on the spot. My fear grew inside of me. Was Rosario+Vampire only just an innocent romantic comedy? Were there a good number of M rated stories?

I wasn't worried about me but about my friends. I absolutely won't accept to see them killed.

Not again.

If you readers could tell me if this universe was more dangerous than I thought, it would help me a lot. Thanks.

After the class ended Moka glued herself to Tsukune. I accepted to walk with them, taking care of my surrounding. From my experience in anime world and from the glares given by my classmates, I and Tsukune will probably be bullied.

Thus we visited the school, dragged by the super cute Moka. I quite underestimated her beauty. Since I'm used to seeing unbelievably beautiful girls, she looks just cute for me but for the common boys in the school she's the most beautiful angel they have ever seen.

It didn't take long to meet a good-looking-full-of-himself boy.

"You are Moka Akashiya are you not !? I'm your classmate Saizou Komiya! Salutations!" he loudly presented himself.

He then grabbed Tsukune by the collar and tried to do the same for me.

"By the way why is a beautiful lady like yourself associating with these two guys like..." he stopped as he finally noticed I wasn't grabbed.

"You...what do you think you're doing?" he closed on me while holding Tsukune.

First of all I have never liked guy like him. Obviously. And he was threatening my friends. Though I think the situation would solve itself if I don't do anything,

I chose to play nice for now.

I told him my name and offered him to be my friend. With a bit of sarcasm. I offered him my hand, forgetting that we were in a Japanese world.

But it wasn't a problem. He shook it hard... HARD I couldn't help but let a pained gasp from the pressure. But that stopped here. As soon as the pressure reached a point where it would had broken my hand, my protection was activated : an indestructible wall materialized around my hand and it was Saizo's turn to suffer. He brought back his hand with a surprised face.

I threw a glance around me : Tsukune was still not knowing what to do while Moka seemed to be ready to do something.

I also heard the bad rumors about Saizo the people around us said.

That made my mind.

"Akashiya-san, Aona-san, can you please visit the rest of the school with just you two? I have some things to discuss with my old friend Saizo." I told them with my casual voice.

"But..."

"Don't worry I will come back. Just wait me in front of the school in one hours okay?" I interrupted them.

"Ok..." They, especially Moka, reluctantly agree.

Saizo didn't try to stop them to leave. It seemed he took my invitation.

"So..."old friend"...you have something to do with me?"

I made my best thug face.

"Yeah I heard you raped those worthless woman and killed the rats that dared to stand before you. I'm actually quite impressed. Even me hasn't done nearly that much. So tell me about it. How it was?" I closed on him.

"Huf that was nothing for someone like me. I could even slaughter the whole human world if I wanted."

He so easily fell into it...

"Really? Tell me, how many miserable humans have you smashed? They're really just slaves to us, aren't they?"

"So true it's a wonder what the hell we are doing here in this academy."

I was actually trying to make him tell me how many people he had killed so as to decide whether or not to kill him. But it doesn't seem like it would go that way.

"I couldn't have agreed more."

"Yeah...But I need to warm you. Moka Akashiya is mine. Don't come any closer to her. I'm clear?"

This is the crossroad.

I can either refuse and attack him to stop him from raping Moka or I can continue to play and hopefully join his group. Then I could destroy the whole group. It would be the best tactic. But I don't know how long I can continue to play...I'm still very thirsty and hungry after all. My patience is very thin.

Like I did when I met Moka and Tsukune, I made up my mind.

"I..."


	3. Meet Mikogami

Damn that author CH3

Like what I did when I met Moka and Tsukune, I made up my mind.

"I...need to check something first. What would happen to the worm who walked beside Akashiya-san?"

"Who cares about him?" He answered disinterested.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not his friend. I only feigned his friendship because I like this kind of guy...in a bloody way. I will let you have Akashiya but I would like to ask you if you can let me take care of the boy personally."

I whispered in his ears.

"You know what I mean..."I added with a grin.

"It seems like we understand each other. Alright meet me at the cemetery after school is over...We have much to discuss about..."

He then left.

I decided to not do anything as I wasn't sure if fighting or even murder were allowed in the school . One would think so but since the school allowed a serial rapist and murderer they could be.

It's currently near noon. I said I would meet Moka and Tsukune in fifty minutes so I have still the time to go to the cafeteria. I hope there aren't many people.

…

Of course there were. Not only that but the food wasn't free and I didn't have any money. Maybe I could ask someone? Ah probably not.

In any case I saw an interesting sight : a girl with blue hair was leading a group of more than twenty men. Her name was Kurumu Kurono from what I had heard. The second most popular girl, the first being Moka. Rumors said she was a succubus and judging from the blank faces of the men following her she must had seduced them with a spell. I should try my best to avoid her. I'm defenseless against mind control.

I still have to eat though...

…

Well I don't like this but I would just have to ask Moka and Tsukune to get something.

I headed to the front of school.

Since I was early, and there weren't too much people around I checked .

The chapter two was posted. It stopped right before I said I needed to check something. Like in the first chapter.

The Author managed to get one review. I read with it with amusement.

Here is my answer reader. First I have to remind you that I'm not the Author. I didn't choose where or when I would appear neither have I chosen to post this story (besides I can't). You say I'm another Mary Sue drowned among hundreds. Well I can't really say no. It's true I'm shielded by plot armor after all. But apart from my plot armor which is a purely defensive power (though it can used to deal deadly blow as you will surely see) I'm a human (very tired by the way).

You said something interesting : I'm actually the Author self-inserting in R+V? That would explain why he chose me in particular: he chose someone who has the same personality as him. Nice guess!

I can see myself writing such a fic. Oh wait what would happen if I write myself a story where someone is transported to another world like me? I might just do that sometime hehe. Thanks for the idea!

But more than anything I'm grateful you posted a review because whether it's positive or negative, a review is still review. The Author didn't specify the content of the reviews. That means one thousand reviews of insult works too! Though it would be faster if he just give up.

As I looked in front of me I saw my two new friends coming.

"Sorry to have make you wait," Tsukune apologized.

"It's my fault. I was early. You're not late," I replied.

"So was it alright?" Asked Moka in a worried tone.

"Yeah don't worry. But you should be more careful from now on. Saizou will try to attack you soon. Try to stay in populated area," I gave them my advice.

"What about you ?" Said Tsukune.

"Me? I'm sorry but I think I would be on my own today. I have some thing to do. So please go ahead and finish the visit of the school,"

"But we're friends right? It isn't fun when you're lonely..." Moka told me, disappointed.

"Friends don't have to be always together,"

"But we've just met !" She added.

She seemed really adamant about it. If I remember correctly she was really emotional when we met. Tsukune and I must have been their first friends. No wonder she's so against to be separated and return to the lonely life she led.

"Well you're with Aono-san right? You can stay with him. As for me I need to see the chairman I have some matter about the enrollment to check. "

It wasn't a lie.

"Then let's go together!" Tsukune purposed.

I simply nodded.

"But first...I'm sorry to ask you this but do you have something to eat and drink please?"

"About that...Take this! We guessed you had nothing so we bought something for you." Tsukune said with a smile.

I was another time very grateful.

While eating we talked about the human world. I took this occasion to confirm that this human world was identical to mine.

We then went to the chairman office.

I entered alone the dark room after I heard a "Enter". But there was no one in the room. Needless to say, the trap was so obvious.

I still went ahead anyways. It's no use trying to delay this.

And I was suddenly surrounded by a spherical barrier. I was very tempted to walk through it but I stopped myself. I should try to keep my invulnerability secret for now.

"Who are you ?" Resonated a booming and powerful voice.

"I'm myself."

I had always dreamed to say that one day!

The chairman revealed himself. He was wearing a white priest robe. I didn't know if I should had been surprised...

"You aren't listed as one of the student and most importantly..."he stopped.

"You're human," he added as if he told the fatality.

"But you're not from this world, are you?" he finished.

I'm not feeling like lying. Besides it's probably useless so I will just tell the simple truth.

"Yes I'm. I will tell you the whole true. But it might hard to believe it."I warned him.

"I listen. "

I began my incomplete explanation.

"I'm a human. But not a human from this universe. I come from another dimension. One day someone from a higher dimension, who I name the Author, abducted me and sent me through different worlds. These worlds were all fictional worlds, worlds that were invented in the Author's universe. For him, my story is a fanfiction and we're characters. And so I was sent to this world. His goal is... probably just to have fun as well to get fame though there's no way he would get this last one ahah."

I took a pause.

"Thus I have no other choice but to stay in this world for I don't know how long. I came here to ask you to let me stay here."I finished.

"This is indeed surprising. Do you have any proof ?"He inquired.

I should talk about .

"The Author gave me a cellphone invisible to others. With this cellphone I can read , a internet web site in the Author's universe. It's there he posts his stories. gathers a large number of fanfictions of many fictions. This universe is one the fiction that has fanfictions. Thus it may be possible to predict what would happen by reading the fanfictions though it's quite tricky."

"Because you can't tell the original story from what is invented? Nevertheless you should be able to deduce the original story by analyzing the common story of these fanfictions."

"Indeed. If you would let me, I will now take my phone and check briefly the fanfictions about you."

He laughed darkly.

"I would like to see that..."

I hit the filters button. I then chose Board Chairman/Mikogami as the character A. I clicked on Apply and I looked at the following stories :

Rosario + Vampire: False Son

Another Human

Drinks After work

The Strongest of Them All

Sara's adventures in Yokai Academy! capuchuu!

Heart and Soul

Hum from what I can gather from the summaries of these stories it seems the Chairman's name is Mikogami and he's one the three Dark Lords.

How lucky of me to find at the beginning one of the most powerful being in this universe.

I told him my conclusion :

"You're Mikogami Tenmei, one the three Dark Lord along with Akasha. You duty is to reign over the monsters. That's all I have deduced from the summaries of seven stories."

"This information is well-known. Anyone could have learned this if they did sufficient researches. But I believe you boy. I can sense you're telling the truth."

I relaxed a little. It would have been bothersome to convince him. But it's far from over yet.

"But what should I do with you? Why would I let you in my academy ?"

"In exchange for you letting me stay, I'm willing to give you information by reading further the fanfictions."

"These information could be inaccurate and there is also the fact that by entering our universe you changed the course of history. Therefore what happens in the fiction and what actually happens here are different."

I couldn't counter his argument. I stayed silent for now.

"Yet it might prove useful. Alright I have decided. I will let you stay here as a student for the week. You will be watched permanently and you are to never leave the academy. You also have to continue reading the fanfiction and gather useful information. You will have to report to me everyday. Nobody aside from me must know your secret. If you fail any of these orders you will be killed. Do you understand?

His tone was terribly intimidating. Yet I couldn't help but let a small grin appears on my face at the mention I will be killed.

"I understand. As I have no alternative I will do as you say sir."

As I prepared to leave...

"Boy!" A heavy pierced my ears behind me.

It was bad. Very bad. I had a very bad feeling.

"What are you hiding?!"He exclaimed.

"My blood type sir." I threw the first idiotic answer that came to my mind.

The barrier around grew thicker.

"Don't play dumb. Why are so confident ?! You might be killed yet you act as if you were the one holding the cards. Why is that?"

Ah I messed up. But it isn't over yet.

"I have been to a lot of worlds. Some far more dangerous than this one. I'm not feeling any danger in this universe"

It wasn't a lie.

"Far more dangerous than this one you say? Yet despite being a human you survived ? How?

I think I'm screwed.

"I can make you speak the truth. It's pointless to lie."

I signed. I shouldn't antagonize him any further.

"Alright you won this. I can't actually die nor suffer a critical injury." I finally said my "secret power".

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Basically I have plot armor. Whenever an attack that is going to critically injure me is about to reach me, it is deflected."

"So if I order the guard over there to shoot you, the bullet will be deflected?"

"Yes."

"You seems very confident about it..."

After he said this, a shot resonated in the room. And soon after a bullet was sent flying against the wall.

"Impressive. Does it protect from absolutely anything ?"

"If something is going to kill me, no matter how powerful, fast, whether is it physical, magic, mental, this something will be nullified."

I expected to receive another attack but nothing came.

"If an attack won't kill you or injure you severely, what happens?"

"No protection appears. I take the full attack."

"Can you die from starvation, dehydration, blood loss, sickness ?"

I hope I won't end as a test subject...

"No. As soon as I'm close to die, my condition are stabilized. I still feel pain, hunger and thirst though..."

"I see. Do you have another ability?"

"No. Aside from my plot armor, I'm just a human."

He didn't speak for a moment. Then he said:

"You're quite the special guest, are you not? You certainly can be useful. I will have some missions for you."

"Before I accept. Can I ask you something ?"

"What is it?"

"If I'm correct your school's goal is the coexistence between monsters and humans. Why do you wish peace? Why don't you wish the annihilation of the humans that forced the monsters into hiding ?"

"A war between monsters and humans would be devastating to both sides. Coexistence is the only favorable outcome."

"It seems I can trust you."

"Why did you ask boy?"

"I couldn't have worked for someone who would had wanted to kill humans. Even if I'm not from this universe, even if I'm very egoist, I still have my standards."

"I'm glad to hear that. Now do you accept to work for me?"

"I accept."

* * *

**Author's**** notes : I will slow down my updates. I will probably update tomorrow evening or Sunday. **


End file.
